NOVEMBER 24, 2007

In light of how atrocious my birthday always is, I was both fearful and excited when it was announced that UP's third round playoff game would be in Portland on November 24th, aka my birthday. Based on an all too consistent history, I worried that my annual birthday nosedive into the despair filled depths of post traumatic stress disorder would ruin the game or, even worse, that the day would be a bigger nightmare than usual if UP lost. But then there was also the flip side, that maybe the opportunity to do something I loved, something that meant the world to me, on that day could offset the past and actually make for a good birthday for the first time since I was twelve.

And how did it turn out? It was glorious! A quintessential cold, crisp November night with a stunning full moon. Ross and I grinning at each other as we dawned our soccer scarves and walked hand in hand through frost covered grass to the stadium. A raucous crowd at Merlo Field that was frothing with excitement. UP marching defiantly onto the field exuding so much confidence that you almost felt sorry for their oppenent. And 90 minutes of pure euphoria as UP scored and scored and scored, notching a tasty 3-0 victory.

By the end of the game I was grinning ear to ear, one incredibly happy camper, with with nary a trace of birthday angst. Instead, my mind was already focused on the fact that UP now faces UCLA in the quarterfinals on Nov 30th. UCLA was one of only 3 teams to beat UP this year but it was a close game that went to double overtime and UCLA only eked by with a win after hitting UP's goalie in the head so hard it gave her a concussion and she didn't play well after nearly having her brain knocked out of her head. There's been a ton of speculation about who would've won the game if UP's goalie hadn't been knocked senseless so this quarterfinal rematch is huge and will definitely be a game of reckoning.

So for the first time in ages my birthday was not a tour de force of mind boggling depression but, instead, a genuinely good day, which is quite shocking. After spending so many years dealing with the ravages of post traumatic stress disorder, I'd come to the conclusion that my birthday would always feel like the anniversary of my own death but discovering today that it can be otherwise was one of the best birthday presents I've ever received. Because hope is one of life's most precious gifts, indeed.

listening: depeche mode . reading: --

walk: 10 minutes . weight lost: 12.5 pounds

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