MARCH 30, 2007

I was really pissed today when the repair shop called and said our car won't be done today. This is the second time the repair shop has promised us the car by a specific date and then called at the last minute to say it wouldn't be ready, so now we won't get the car back until Tuesday. And like I said, I was miffed about that, but then I checked my email and got the kind of news that smacks you upside the head and reminds you that life could be a lot worse.

The email I got was from my best friend Patricia, who is attending graduate school in New York City. Her kitty Peekwee got sick this week and Patricia thought it was a kidney problem since Peekwee has had kidney trouble before. So Patricia took Peekwee to the vet yesterday, thinking it would just be a routine appointment and that she and Peekwee would both return home afterwards, but it didn't end up that way. Turns out Peekwee was in the last stages of cancer and there was nothing the vet could do. And, yes, what followed is as sad as it gets. Poor Peekwee, she didn't make it. Or, in other words, Peekwee died, but that's just so painful to say.

Suffice it to say not getting our car back seemed anything but important after that news and I've spent the day with a very heavy heart, crying off and on and feeling heartbroken for Patricia and poor Peeks, and the sense of helplessness at being so far away at a time like this is just rotten. I can't tell you how much I wish I was in NYC or that Patricia was in Portland so that I could be with her right now. That's how I started my reply email to her, told her that I wished my arms were 2,895 miles long so that they could stretch from Portland to NYC and hug her. And if we weren't facing $500 in car repairs and $200+ in rental fees right now, I'd hop on a plane and fly out there.

I can't do that right now, though, and writing the reply email to Patricia was incredibly difficult. What do you say in response to such devastating news? I wanted so much to be able to help, to somehow be able to make a difference, but I know all too well that there is little, if anything, that can be of comfort when you lose one of your best friends, and so unexpectedly, too. Sentiments like 'I'm sorry' or 'my heart goes out to you' just don't cut it for something like this and I grappled for hours trying to find the right words. In the end, I opened up a text file and let my heart do the typing. What came out wasn't an email to Patricia but, instead, a tribute to Peekwee and I'll close this entry and this sad day with that tribute.

In Honour And Celebration Of The Truly Wonderful Kitty Called Peekwee

Your body may be at rest now, but your spirit lives on and always shall in all the love, laughter, comfort, and friendship you offered all who knew you. Unlike most humans, your heart was pure and your spirit sweet and you freely offered the kind of love and grace that truly touches the heart and changes life for the better which is why, despite the fact that your sweet paws have now found rest from this mortal coil, your spirit still lives on and always shall. Because while there are many things that death can steal from us, love is not one of them. Love is eternal, far stronger than death, which is why death can never truly rob us of you because love was and eternally will be the very fiber of your soul. For this reason, I know that you have not ceased to exist, like many others might believe, rather you have transcended mortality, moved on to another plane, forging further life's fantastic journey into the spiritual realm. And I wish you well on your journey, Peekwee, as you bravely venture forth to explore what we humans are so afraid of and perhaps through you we can come to comprehend that death is not simply an end, but a new beginning as your spirit now dances free and unfettered of its earthly chains and your soul vibrates with beautiful energy. Ah, dear Peekwee, there are no words to convey how much you will be missed but, along with the sadness and tears, we celebrate your life and thank you for gracing us with your presence and the gift of your love and friendship. I wish you sunbeams, catnip, and tuna galore in your new adventure and, always, I wish you love.

♡

listening: erasure . reading: on beauty

walk: 20 minutes . weight lost gained: 857 pounds

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