FEBRUARY 01, 2007

Sometimes you just don't want to put a lot of time or effort into writing an entry because the subject matter is so rotten and depressing that any extra time or words spent on it somehow make it seem that much worse. Some things are better left to simple, matter of fact statements and done quickly, like ripping a band-aid off a wound. This is one of those times.

The ultrasound yesterday showed that the fetus had not grown at all since last week and that its heart has stopped, so the worst has happened. The fetus is dead and, since my body has not expelled it, I have to go in tomorrow for a D&C, a procedure in which the doctor scrapes out the contents of the uterus. Thankfully, they will use general anesthesia for the procedure so I won't be conscious for it or experience pain during it.

As for how I'm feeling, it's hard to say. We pretty much expected this so we prepared for the worst and weren't surprised when it happened, and for the most I am emotionally numb. I don't want to think about it, I just want this to be over, so in a weird way I'm kind of looking forward to tomorrow afternoon when all of this will be done.

So here's to strength, endurance, and the hope of better days ahead.

listening: depeche mode . reading: --

walk: 20 minutes . weight lost: 9 pounds

HOME  |  ARCHIVES