September 21, 2006
 Our doctor confirmed it today.
I am pregnant.
Suffice it to say we were shocked. We tried for years to get pregnant but never succeeded and just a few weeks ago we found out that Ross' medical condition had gotten worse, to the extent that it would be nearly impossible for us to get pregnant on our own, so we made an appointment for Ross to see a fertility expert so that we could get started on fertility treatment... And then we find out we're pregnant! So it seems the key to us getting pregnant was to give up trying, just have sex for fun, and make an appointment with a fertility expert. And had we known the fertility expert was so good that all it took was one phone call, we would've called ages ago!
Now I just wish that I felt a little more joy about this and a lot less terrified. I mean, we tried for years to get pregnant, so you'd think that I'd be absolutely thrilled that it finally happened, but the main thing that keeps running through my head is, "oh god, what the hell have we done?!" I always thought this day, if it ever came, would be a purely happy and joyous experience, but mostly I'm just scared and in shock.
In fact, it's hard to think straight at this point, what with the combination of shock and extreme emotion, which is making it difficult to write. I knew that being tired and nauseous were part of early pregnancy, but it seems that the inability to form coherent thoughts and sentences is part of it, too. In fact, if this were an audio blog, all you'd hear is incoherent babbling right about now, intermixed with yelps of fear and sniffles of teary delight. But then maybe that's a normal repsonse after getting the biggest news of your life.
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