DECEMBER 08, 2005

I am an overachiever. I haven't quit smoking yet, but already I am so intensely restless, anxious, and irritiable. If you didn't know better, you'd think I just quit judging from the "don't fucking talk to me" mood I've been in. Ross gets home from work and says hello and I just growl and crawl off to a different room so that I don't have to deal with another human being.

It's the waiting. The clock is ticking down, my last few days as a smoker are at hand, and I simultaneously want them to pass as slowly as possible so that I can enjoy them for all they're worth, but to also just hurry up and pass so that I can get this over with. God, I'm tense. I feel like I'm facing the electric chair. I half expect someone to solemnly announce, "ex- smoker walking," when I leave for the hypnotism appointment Monday and for a priest to skitter along behind me giving the smokers last rites.

Gosh, it's a good thing I have such a positive attitude about this. But I suppose that's why the hypnotist gave me the assignment of coming up with a list of all the reasons why I want to quit smoking. Keep the positive in mind, your eyes on the prize. That's why I need to keep reminding myself that this is a good thing, for however awful it may temporarily be.

But I am getting one unexpected source of help in quitting smoking. The cigarettes I smoke are no longer available in Portland. The cigarettes are imports and it seems there's a problem with the supplier. I went to my favorite smoke shop last week and they were out of my cigs and said they weren't going to carry them anymore. I figured it was just that one store that was having problems getting them, but I've been told the same thing at every store I've gone to. Everyone's out of the cigs and won't be getting them anymore. There's a handy coincidence. The only cigarettes I like and now I can't get them anymore. Funny how life works out sometimes.

Oh, and I put the wrong date in the previous entry. I originally said that my quit smoking date is December 14, but my quit date is actually Monday, December 12. At 9:00am. Oi. I mean yea!

T-minus four days and counting.

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