DECEMBER 06, 2005

Awhile back, I read an article by a guy who used hypnosis to quit smoking. He was a hardcore smoker for 30 years and hypnosis actually worked for him. Not only was he able to quit, he no longer had the desire to smoke, which awed me. I've quit before and didn't have a hard time with physical withdrawl, but the psychological addiction never left and tripped me up, so when I read that hypnosis addresses psychological factors, I was intrigued

But I was also skeptical. I've never given hypnotism any credence and the article made it sound too good to be true, so I researched it. Turns out the American Medical Association considers hypnosis valid treatment for many things, including addiction, and the largest ever comparison of ways to quit smoking deemed hypnosis the best. After reading all that, I was ready to try it. Maybe it would work, maybe not, but when it comes to a deadly addiction, better to error on the side of trying everything you can to quit.

So, I was ready to try hypnosis, but then ran into a problem. Cost. I called the hypnotist mentioned in the article (he's local) and found that a stop smoking session costs $250. Granted, it's 2 1/2 hrs and only requires one session (and if you relapse, follow ups are free) but we didn't have the money at the time. So I had to wait. When Ross got a new job or our freelance checks came in, then I'd do hypnosis.

But when it comes to ending addiction, it's very easy to lose motivation. Ross started his new job in October, the freelance checks came in, and we now have more money than we know what to do with, so we can afford hypnosis, but I was having a hell of a time getting my gumption up. It was easy to put off, not to think about. I kept telling myself I'd make the appointment next week or next year. And then there was the addict part of my brain saying, 'what's the point of quitting? the damage is already done'

Enter the ultimate motivation. I was talking to Bayley, my 14 year old niece and the love of my life, on the phone recently and she told me that she joined an anti-smoking program that goes to grade schools and talks to kids about not smoking. "Good for you, that's a great thing to be part of," I told her, and meant it, but then I tried to change the subject because Bayley hates that I smoke and nothing makes me feel worse or more ashamed of smoking than that. But Bayley wouldn't let me off the hook.

"Do you know what's in cigarette smoke?" she asked and rattled off a list of horrid substances. "Do you know that you inhale that into your lungs every time you smoke? Have you seen a cancerous lung? Do you really know how bad smoking is?" She went on and on. "Is there a point to this?" I asked, feeling defensive and wishing she'd stop. I was expecting the usual, 'smoking is bad, so you should quit' line that everyone uses, but she surprised me.

"Yeah, there is a point to this. I love you and I don't want you to die." I sat there in silence, my eyes watering. It was like getting smacked upside the head, a swift kick in the ass, and a giant hug all at once. And never has a swift kick in the ass meant so much or been as motivating.

December 12, 2005 at 9am I will quit smoking. The appointment with the hypnotist has been made. There's no turning back, no more excuses, no more putting it off. I am scared, but I know that this is one of the best things I will ever do for myself. And I have plenty on motivation - my life, my health, my husband, to name a few. And my niece, Bayley. Because I love her and I don't want to die and miss out on her life.

I haven't told Bayley yet that I'm going to quit, I want to surprise her with it. My sister and her family will be here for New Years and that's when I'll tell Bayley. I'm going to write on a piece of paper "Merry Christmas, Bayley. I quit smoking. Thank you for the inspiration. I love you, Amy" and then wrap it up and give it to her as a present. I don't know if it will mean much to her (although Ross tells me it will mean the world to her), but I want her to know that she inspired me.

And then, in the years to come, when her dorky old aunt embarrasses her or drives her nuts, I can point to the piece of paper and say, "hey, it's your fault that I'm still around." :P

HOME  |  ARCHIVES