May 06, 2005   Was sitting at my cafe tonight reading the paper when -thud!- something fell onto my table. Startled, I looked up and discovered that it was a box of tampons. Yes, I was nearly clobbered by a box of tampons while sitting at a cafe, and if my life could get any weirder, I don't want to know.

The tampons didn't just fall from the sky, though, it was a hit and run. They landed on my table just as two college girls quickly walked by, and they were the culprits. I had no idea why they were throwing tampons at people, but I wasn't amused, so as they skittered down the street giggling, I did the mature thing and threw the tampons back at them.

Their backs were to me, so they weren't aware that an incoming box of flying tampons was headed towards them, and they jumped when it landed behind them. They spun around and, upon seeing that the tampons had been returned to them via air mail, they looked at me as though they couldn't believe someone had just hurled a box of tampons at them and took off running. Apparently the complex theory of cause and effect is beyond their grasp and it hadn't occured to them that flinging tampons at people might come with some consequences.

I did, however, solve the case of the flying tampons. The girls were tampon ambassadors. Seriously. The tampons are a new brand, one that's trying to make their prodcut hip and cool so that it appeals to high school and college girls, so I went to the company's web site and, sure enough, they're paying girls to hand out free tampons and refer to this as being an ambassador for their product. They need to rethink their marketing campaign, though, since hiring immature girls to do tampon drivebys won't win them many customers.

Aye. It's been a strange week. First the scary, growling guy in the middle of the night, then the traffic stopping meth freak demanding to be killed, and now assault and battery with a box of tampons. I would say what's next, but I really don't want to know.

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